Close Up Photography

Remembering

I know it is true
that you are gone free, unburdened
by your mind clouding over your spirit, succumbed
to sitting and looking out the window at a view you don’t recognize
hopefully you don’t realize
your sense of humor vanished in a moment
just like your ability to remember simple things
it was clear your strong body didn’t know
how to be now, your mind so still
compared to everyday before
a laundry list of errands or roads to explore

You knew the way
to anywhere, where to find anything in Costco
and best of all you knew how
to make my Grandmother laugh
you didn’t get mad
when she beat you with a better card hand, your friendship
that was easily noticed when you were dancing
or exchanging glances it is clear
it was confusing to you both
to experience your mind letting you down
when you counted on it so solid so firmly sound

Now forgetful unmindful careless slack
distracted absent these are not words I would ever use
to describe the whole you
it is heartbreaking as I’m sure you must have felt too
but now that your life has passed on
now that you are free
from the deepened depths of this disease may you know
we remember you as you were
as we know you wanted to be
and may you rest
in eternal peace now happily remembering

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There, there

Why are we so
afraid of what is underneath the anticipation
of a tear
or the welling up of feelings
long gone
There, there I say to all (more…)

The Waiting Room

Collected colors dreams still
holding on the words not yet ready
to send their messages on memories
the days finding their resting place, shallow breaths
waiting for more inhales
before tending to the inside

For to some this space may feel
or look
clogged undone untidy unmanageable out-of-control
but to me it is the waiting room
the holding place where if I am careful enough
I won’t lose any of its
wildly lived perfect truth and meaning

Inside Me

This morning as the rain begins
its relentless seasonal soaking of the ground
the warm bright light
is left to shine behind the thick lid of clouds

I notice myself shifting from looking
out the window
to looking inside myself
a shift as gentle as waking up (more…)