Bending Will

The bending of ones will
has the potential to look beautiful
from afar but to the one who is bending
with each turn of unsure held back settling shallow breath step
the outcome
is an unknown torturous vine
they thought they would never
be hanging from in their lifetime

** This post is part of Leanne Cole’s weekly photo challenge called Monochrome Madness. You can find all the entries, HERE.

I am enjoying my new camera and found this particular capture rather challenging. I was out for a walk in our local community forest with our new puppy. She was only interested in hanging with me for a short time while I tried to capture this baby fern. I’ve discovered manual focus is best for this type of close up work with my new camera. So, a steady hand and eye was hard to come by with a puppy on the leash!


  1. So this poem took my breath away, not with its beauty and skill, but with my reaction to its message. I’d never given a thought to the familiar expression, bending ones will, and its implications to the one who is bending. I’ve experienced being expected to change my will and fear I’ve tried to do it to others. And this line read so true to me, “the outcome is an unknown torturous vine” Carrie, have you ever considered publishing a book of your photographs and poems? They deserve a wide audience.

    1. Janet, thank you for such a thoughtful comment. And, I find it such a lovely coincidence that you would ask such a question. In working through the long 5 months with my dad’s transition from a healthy 67 year old to a deteriorated man to his transition beyond due to pancreatic cancer, I couldn’t do much with my experience except write. I haven’t shared many of the poems here, they feel like a collection that needs to stay together. I was actually thinking of contacting you, I know you have written at least one book. I honestly have no idea how to do it.
      But, I’ve been drawn to begin. So, I have written out all the poems (6,500+ words), I’ve written out chapter beginnings, I know the title and now I am collecting the photographs from my archives. I am well on my way but of course have no way of knowing how to bring it to fruition. I think I will self publish it and I will most definitely send you a copy, you have been a large reason why I have continued to write and express myself here.
      As for your reaction to this poem. I can’t express how much I appreciate that you really think about what I am saying. I share your feelings and thoughts around bending of one’s will too and it gave me great pause as well. Have a beautiful day!

      1. I am thrilled beyond words that you are putting together a book, Carrie, and it sounds like you are going about it the way I compiled and supplemented columns I had already written around a unifying theme. I would love to discuss your efforts with you and help you problem solve as necessary and begin to navigate the self publishing world. Feel free to email me if you ever think I could be helpful, and if that proves too cumbersome we could always talk on the phone. Your comment also made the think I should have sent you a copy of my book long ago. Would you like one? We could use it to discuss some of the mistakes and successes I achieved in self publishing and marketing it. I am so excited for you and for the people who will eventually get to read your book.

  2. Hello Carrie, it’s been awhile since I’ve been able to visit WP, and in reading the previous comment about your father, I want to express my sorrow over your loss.
    Prior to reading your comment, I was ready to ask about your new camera, and tell you that I loved imagining you walking with your puppy.

    1. Thank you, Laurie for your touching comment. I kept much of my dad’s illness to myself. Those were his wishes not mine. So, I’ve only written about it a couple of times at most. He was diagnosed in September and passed the day before my birthday in February. I have done a lot of self-work over the years and understand grief and death as part of the gift of living. I’m not saying I am not deeply struck by my dad’s passing but I am in an understanding place mentally to let myself feel my way through it.
      My new camera is lovely with a bit of a learning curve. I’ve figured out the macro focus finally and feel much more comfortable with its capabilities there. I’m still working out the landscape capabilities but I am having fun learning. I bought a Panasonic Lumix LX100, it is a 4/3rds sensor point and shoot, very sturdy and feels like a “real” camera. I’m really enjoying it. So nice to hear from you, hope you have enjoyed the view while you’ve been away. I look forward to seeing more photographs of yours soon!

      1. Carrie, I’m sure that your words are a comfort to those who love you. “I particularly appreciate that grief and death are a gift of living”
        Congrats on the new camera! How exciting.
        I’m committed to getting a post up this coming week … fingers crossed 🙂

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