Weighted Leaves

I can’t help it I feel all
the weight of each leaf holding on, the thoughts
of doubt, ridicule the dreams that haven’t
found their way through those memories left behind
the constant worry
am I doing this right my furrowed brow my head full
the blurred transition between what

Actually is and what can change for good
sometimes I want to scream out loud “How cursed!”
I feel to feel so much
some minutes I just want a break from the whispers
good or bad it is hard to get a full breath
it is hard to get rest it is hard
to keep standing up for my heart and offering what it feels to those who hurt

I will continue to notice continue to feel continue
to wander through the tree top leaves and find
the beauty in their connection see the light peeking in
seeing each effort spilling leaf as part of a whole
somehow this makes me less likely to be confused about why
I feel so weighted down and need to cry
to lighten this weight sometimes


  1. Oh, Carrie, another strong, personal poem I sense is connect to the poem I just read, “Earth,” though I may be wrong. The line “…sometimes I want to scream out loud “How cursed!”
    I feel to feel so much” to me seems to catch your essence, the essential Carrie, who cares.

    1. Hello Janet, thank you. I really do appreciate you taking time to really read and “get” my words. At first, I didn’t think it was true, that this poem was connected to “Earth”. But, in reading it again and thinking about where my head was when I wrote it, I think it is.
      I really do feel a lot and social media is a hard place for me to continually be. I am particularly sensitive right now because I am tired from a lack of sleep. We got a new puppy a few weeks ago and she is lovely but a lot of work! Thank you for coming back again and again. I enjoy hearing from you, always.

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