Free Falling


**Just when I thought my family was relatively settled and life was flowing into a new normal…I unexpectedly found myself in a free fall. It has been a week, to the day, since I wrote this. I didn’t have a web connection until today. I am hopeful that my posts and my life, will from this point forward, be more consistent. Hope, is the operative word, here.

Eating breakfast in season
Blissful tree ripened peach
Greek yogurt
Job searching via
Craigslist, my mind
Multitasking…the phone

A tense hesitant voice
“I have bad news, you have to move out by the end of tonight.”

My heart sinks deeper
Than I ever thought
I could feel, tears welling
up my voice leaves
My mouth, how
Can this be
We are homeless

My hands shaking
Too hard
To properly dial
The phone, I call my husband
No answer
I take a deep breath
Sobs start to shake my shoulders
And hips

My boys wide-eyed asking
What is going on,
“Mama needs to let out some tears, then I will tell you what is wrong.”
I am thankful they agree

I start talking
Out loud
To myself,
“Pick up the phone, pick up, pick up!”
You can’t leave on your field trip, I need you
This minute
“Hello…oh my gosh, what is wrong”

I tell him
The news, he gasps
Then changes all of his plans

We throw out our webs
Connecting with
We know in this town and beyond

I call fifteen different property leads
While I am texting
With the guy
Who forgot to ask
His landlord
What was her position on sub-leasing
Not favorable, as it turned out

I am still crying
The tears overwhelming
Waves of despair
As my boys understand
We are moving again
After only sixteen days

My husband is
Home, we embrace
Holding each other longer
Than we both expect

My phone rings
Someone is calling
A townhouse ready
To rent, we can look
At noon and get the keys
By 6 pm we are living, at home
In a new place
Now with three bedrooms
Instead of one and a yard
Garage, everything brand new
Except the fridge won’t be
Delivered until a week from today

Today was the wildest
My heart is still
My body is so grateful
To have a home
Now I must fall asleep


  1. Reblogged this on MULIEBRAL VIEWPOINT and commented:
    I fear we may hear many more such accounts in the near future. Can you imagine being homeless with children? The Lord did truly bless this family to find a refuge by night.

    1. Carrie, for a minute I thought you had really taken a hard fall. The open root of the tree, the “almost” level ground–you know. Such things could happen! Your interpretation of the danger and the possibility of more than one type of fall is certainly clear here. I read with breathlessness and felt comforted with the resolution. Sigh!

      1. You are so right Beth, and I am very thankful I didn’t take a “literal” fall. The open root was as close as I could get at the moment to falling into a rabbit hole 🙂 That is exactly what it felt like. What a ride, since that day we moved, I am finally re-connected, we are not living out of a cooler and I got a job I really wanted! The upswing is as wild as the down. Thank you for reading and sharing too! I really appreciate it.

  2. OMG…I wondered what had happened Carrie. I remember you didn’t get the house of your dreams and I mentioned to take heart that something better would be around the corner. Glad to see you are on the upswing!!!

    1. Hi Laura! Hope your recovery is going well?? The past month has been full of surprises. First we lost the house of our dreams then it came back to us as we were en-route to our new town. Now we are in escrow on that home and have until the 15th to get in escrow on our current house! The sub-lease we set up when we moved fell through unexpectedly (hence this poem) and now we are in a new place with more room but not at all in a location we want to stay in for long…The positives totally outweigh the negatives though, we are so happy to live here, feel at home and are continuing to see the best of each new challenge. The momentum feels good at this moment 🙂

    1. Thank you Pam. We are enjoying the long weekend, actually moving our things from the storage unit to our new townhouse…nice to have room for all of our stuff! The boys are so excited to find all their toys and special things that have been in boxes for months. It is like Christmas around here 🙂 I am hopeful the turmoil is behind us, in most ways we are settling in well!

  3. Gosh, Im so glad you found a place.
    Reading your poem… I could see myself doing exactly the same as you.
    Hope things settle for you, if they haven’t already. Hugs!

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